


But I'm pretty when I lie.

by 1050beans



Category: L.A. Noire
Genre: Dubiously Consensual Blow Jobs, Emotional Manipulation, M/M, Missing Scene, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 13:56:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11464998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1050beans/pseuds/1050beans
Summary: McCaffrey may hate James Tiernan, but the man's a lot more agreeable when he's drunk and lonely.Trying to fill in the holes in McCaffrey and Tiernan's stories.(First chapter is rated T)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from 'Pretty When You Cry' by VAST.

Grosvenor McCaffrey was just sitting in his apartment, reading 'A Study in Scarlet' when he was very suddenly interrupted by a series of knocks at his door. At first, he tried to simply ignore the noise until it stopped and continue with his reading, but it soon became apparent that it likely wouldn't be stopping anytime soon. McCaffrey sighed, folding the tip of his page over - a practise he usually highly discouraged, but it was _his_ book, and he likely wouldn't be away from it for very long anyway - and shut his book, walking over to the door as calmly as he possibly could, considering the sudden disturbance.

McCaffrey was more than ready to launch into a spiel about not randomly showing up at people's homes when they may be busy, but when he opened the door to meet his uninvited guest, he couldn't help smiling upon realising that instead of some uneducated religious nut purporting to know the secrets of the universe, the person standing at his front door was in actual fact an extremely intoxicated James Tiernan, tearfully looking up at McCaffrey with those big, blue puppy-dog eyes. He looked pathetic, to say the least. Pathetic and _vulnerable_.

Forget the reading - he could do that anytime. But getting the chance to toy with Tiernan's tragically small and drunken mind? That was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. McCaffrey opened his mouth to speak to Tiernan, putting on his best concerned-friend voice.

"Hello there, James. What brings you here this evening? I would have thought you'd be spending the night with Evelyn."

"I...I was going to," Tiernan slurred, shutting his eyes briefly and allowing a stray tear to trickle down his cheek. "But then we got into a fight and we argued and I kicked her out of the hotel room and she came back after a while but I was still so goddamned _mad_ and I said why doesn't she go to you 'cause she talks about you all the- all the _fucking_ time and I thought she might've-"

"Come here? I'm afraid not, James." And even if she _had_ McCaffrey would never let someone like _her_ into his house. A washed-up, alcoholic vagrant who mooches off of others. An irritating little lapdog like Tiernan was perfect for her. "But go back a little. Are you telling me that Evelyn is out wandering the streets alone?"

"She _must_ be, if she's not here. Oh, _god_ , what have I done? What if she gets _hurt_?"

_It'd be one less leech draining the resources of society, for one thing,_ McCaffrey thought to himself.

"That's a fair enough concern, considering the number of young women that have been murdered recently. People are saying it's the work of the Black Dahlia."

Tiernan's eyes widened in realisation and horror.

"Y-you don't think she's-"

"Dead?" McCaffrey couldn't help smirking. "You can't deny it's a possibility, James. The streets of L.A. at night are no place for a girl on her own."

"God, I should've just let her back in. I just couldn't stand the way she kept _talking_ about you.  
I-it was like I didn't even _exist_."

"Let her back in? Really? All that would've done is make her think she can do or say whatever she likes, and that is a _very_ dangerous mindset for a woman to have. You simply stood your ground - In my eyes, that's a good thing."

"I...I suppose so..."

"...Mind you, if she _does_ get killed, that won't stop the police from fingering you as the prime suspect."

Tiernan's head snapped up suddenly, staring up at McCaffrey worriedly.

"Wh-what?"

"Think about it for a moment. When someone is murdered, the spouse is more often than not the prime suspect. That, combined with the fact that you had a drunken argument with here this evening would make it very easy to arrest you on suspicion of murder." McCaffrey paused for a moment, taking in Tiernan's petrified expression. "...But I'm likely just overthinking things again. She's probably fine."

"I...I hope you're right..."

"I usually am, James."

"So I've heard," Tiernan mumbled, likely referencing something Evelyn had told him. Her great admiration of McCaffrey might have been sweet, were she not so repulsive. Instead, it just came off as creepy and pathetic.

"Either way, now that you know Evelyn isn't here, where are you planning to go next? Back to your hotel room?"

Tiernan shook his head.

"I don't want to go back there, at least not tonight. And I can't go back to my place, either. My landlady doesn't let anyone in after midnight."

McCaffrey crossed his arms.

"I see. Where do you plan to sleep, then?"

Tiernan just looked up at him hopefully, nibbling at his lip.

"Could I stay...here? Just for the night...I'll leave first thing in the morning, I swear."

McCaffrey narrowed his eyes, considering Tiernan's plea. If this had happened at any other time, he'd likely have refused and kicked him onto the streets, but Tiernan had been surprisingly agreeable that particular night, likely due to both his distressed emotional state and level of intoxication.

"I've never been one to abandon a man in need, so I don't see why not."

 

* * *

 

During the early hours of the night, after Evelyn Summers had been beaten to death and her corpse defiled by one John Ferdinand Jamison, the Black Dahlia killer went on to plant the evidence in the apartment of the man most likely to be fingered as the perpetrator; Grosvenor McCaffrey, an ex-army man with a history of violence - primarily against _women_ , conveniently enough - and a Communist stance, which made him an easy target, given the Homicide Department Captain's hatred of 'those reds'.

As he left the items - the bloody tire iron and half of Evelyn's note - the BD killer couldn't help but smile to himself at the sight of his latest victim's two closest companions lying together in McCaffrey's bed, completely unaware of Evelyn's grisly fate.  
  


* * *

 

McCaffrey shook James Tiernan awake, none too gently, mind you, and the man slowly opened his eyes, looking extremely out of it.

"Rise and shine, Tiernan."

"Mmmgh..." Tiernan groaned, rubbing his temples. "McCaffrey? What...How did I...?"

"Last night? You showed up at my front door, extremely drunk. It was getting late, so I offered to put you up for the night."

"I thought you hated me."

"Regardless of that, I wasn't about to just let you wander the streets alone at night, especially not in the state you were in."

Tiernan looked down, clearly feeling guilty.

"I would, though," He mumbled.

"Did what?" McCaffrey asked, playing dumb and trying not to smile at Tiernan's expression.

"I...I kicked Evelyn out last night after we had a fight. I don't remember anything that happened after that, but..."

McCaffrey thought back to the morning's newspaper and the bloody tire iron that suddenly appeared in his apartment. If Tiernan _really_ couldn't remember the events of the previous night...

"I see...so you don't remember why you were carrying a bloodied tire iron?"

That seemed to wake him up some.

"Wh-what?!"

"When you showed up here last night. There was a tire iron in your hands, and it was covered in blood. You don't remember that?"

Tiernan gulped.

"I told you, I don't remember anything after the fight with Evelyn."

"I see..." McCaffrey mused, pretending to be deep in thought.

"Y-You don't think I...?"

"I think you should check today's newspaper, Tiernan," He said, handing over the morning's issue.

It was on the front page, next to a photo of her dead body - 'Evelyn Summers found dead, investigation underway.'

"Oh god...O-Oh, god...Oh my _god_. Evelyn...Evelyn's-"

"She was beaten to death with a blunt instrument, most likely a tire iron." Tiernan wiped away the tears beginning to form in his eyes, too choked up to reply. "Be honest with me, Tiernan. Did you do it?"

"I-I-I don't remember! God, I don't _remember_! I...I...God, I-"

"Sh-shhh. It's okay, I won't judge you."

"I have to turn myself in...I _have_ to."

"No, you don't. And you _shouldn't_ , either. You'd just be throwing your life away. And for what? For some woman?"

"I...I _loved_ her, McCaffrey. Or at least...I thought I did. God, what have I done?"

"Look, Tiernan. It happened, and there's nothing you or I can do about it. Go home - I'll hide the evidence for you - and you can mourn Evelyn's death later. Got it?"

Tiernan hesitated for a while, but seemed to eventually pick up on what McCaffrey was saying.

"...Got it."

"Good."

After Tiernan had left, McCaffrey grinned to himself before going over to pick up his book and quietly continued with his reading.

 


	2. Bonus Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was all originally just a setup for some sleazy porn, but I got a bit carried away. Still did the porn though.

Grosvenor McCaffrey held the still-very-intoxicated James Tiernan's head down against his clothed erection. In his current state, Tiernan couldn't do much more than put up a half-hearted and ultimately futile struggle to push him away.

"Mc...Caffrey? What are you-"

"Shh. Just relax and let me do this, alright?" McCaffrey said gently, as he undid his pants and pulled his mostly-hard cock out of his underwear.

Tiernan mumbled something quietly in reply, but his drunken slur made it impossible to discern whether or not he was using actual words, so McCaffrey simply ignored him and pressed the tip of his cock against Tiernan's closed lips, trying to pry them open. He seemed to catch on quickly enough, hesitantly opening his mouth so McCaffrey could slide himself inside.

After letting his cock rest in the inside of Tiernan’s mouth for a bit, McCaffrey began to very gently thrust in and out of those pretty little lips. He didn’t go too deep - didn’t want to risk Tiernan quite literally choking to death on his cock, but Tiernan’s pathetic, teary-eyed face as he uncontrollably drooled all over himself was more than making up for the lack of actual physical stimulation. He continued to shallowly fuck Tiernan’s mouth, letting out pleased groans when Tiernan’s attempts at verbal protests started making some wonderful vibrations against his cock.

“God...If only you could see yourself, Tiernan. If only  _ Evelyn _ could see you.” Tiernan stiffened up at the mention of Evelyn’s name, and a fresh wave of tears flowed down his cheeks. McCaffrey smiled cruelly, clearly enjoying his little ‘rival’s’ mental anguish. “...But you know,” McCaffrey continued on, groaning. “I really do prefer you like this. You’re  _ far _ less obnoxious when your mouth is full of cock.”

If Tiernan was less of a completely worthless pile of scum, McCaffrey _ might _ have felt a little guilty about what he was doing, but he was, and therefore McCaffrey didn’t even feel a shred of guilt for taking advantage of this pathetic, drunken whelp. Really, Tiernan should’ve been  _ grateful _ for his attentions, if anything - It was rare for McCaffrey to engage in one-night stands, and even rarer still for him to engage in said one-night stands with people so clearly below his intellectual level.

**Author's Note:**

> Hobbies: Making slimebag characters seem even slimier.


End file.
